One week and a day have passed. I got the call this morning that I have tried to put in the back of mind but knew was coming. Sam's ashes were ready to be picked up whenever I was ready to go get them. Are you ever really ready to do that? In my mind I went back and forth do I go now or wait another day. Finally after a few minutes, I decided Sam needed to come home. Today.
Off I went with the radio on to distract me from where I was going and what I was about to do. I was fine until I saw someone else had signed in their pet whose name happened to be Sam. The women behind the desk were very kind but a few avoided eye contact. Then the box came out. It was much heavier than I expected and bigger. I barely made it out the door and into the van before I lost it. I had to admit, it felt good just to release all those emotions.
For the past few days I have been in pretty good spirits. All of his stuff is either packed away or set aside for someone to come pick up. The last things to be moved were his dishes. Everyday you walk in the house and there they are. I liked having them there because it looked like he had just gotten done eating and was probably in laying on his bed. I hadn't even emptied out the water that had been in there since he last took a drink. I finally convinced myself yesterday that it was just water. My husband thinks we should do something with his bowls, like plant flowers or cactus in them. For now, they are in the garage. Out of sight, but never quite out of mind.
In my next post I will wrap up my three part series of Getting to Know Sam. I will post about his time in California.
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